just because it's god's word?
by the blasphemer
Summary: This is aimed at a few Jehovah witnesses, who won’t leave my family alone. This is my opinion. I know not all Christians are like this. I am probably going to get flamed for this. But I don’t care. If total strangers are allowed to insult my beliefs,
1. Default Chapter

Just because it's god's word?  
  
You knock on my door  
  
In the middle of the morning  
  
There you stand, with nothing more  
  
Than a bible in your hand, grinning  
  
I roll my eyes and let a huge sight  
  
You start with your preaching  
  
It's no use to fight  
  
I am forced to listen to your so-called teachings  
  
But suddenly I get mad  
  
Days upon days  
  
Too much I have had  
  
You start talking about evolutionist and their evil ways  
  
And I ask him  
  
Show me that they are wrong  
  
And he smiles a retarded grin  
  
And says: they violate the laws of thermodynamics, they do!"  
  
What a dilemma I am in  
  
I say: "that's not true!!"  
  
"You know as well as I"  
  
I said to him,  
  
"That what you just said is a straight out lie"  
  
His face turned grim  
  
And he said in a menacing voice  
  
"How dare you doubt the word of god"  
  
"You'll burn by your own choice!"  
  
"Adam and Eve is the only truth"  
  
and I ask: "what makes you so sure of this?"  
  
and he replies: " because it is god's word, you silly goose"  
  
"where all descendants of Noah and his kids"  
  
but there is no evidence for a worldwide flood I say to the unwise  
  
there are some evidence he said  
  
but I counter: "how about all the places that suggest otherwise?"  
  
"How can life be the way it is now, my good lad,"  
  
"how can their be koala's, elephants and billions of different species on this earth with a special coat?"  
  
All the diversity of life  
  
"How can they exist if they came from a boat?"  
  
and you say: "surely you don't believe we are here by mere chance?"  
  
and I ask: "why not?"  
  
"Look all around you, how could evolution produce all this?" he sings and dance  
  
I give him all I got:  
  
"Are you a biologist?"  
  
"Do you understand how the theory works?"  
  
"Your not a scientist"  
  
and in a desperate attempt he says  
  
"Jesus died for you!"  
  
And I ask him on this very day  
  
"What makes you so certain you are right, you stupid fool?"  
  
"There are thousands of religions, all claiming to be true"  
  
"Muslim, hindu, Shinto, Buddha and many more"  
  
"I don't think you have a clue"  
  
"What exactly makes you so damn sure?"  
  
They can also "feel it in their hearts"  
  
They also experience "miracles and wonders"  
  
I think it has natural explanations and that the supernatural is just a big fart  
  
I don't think there is nothing beyond yonder  
  
And you reply: "but it's god's word!  
  
66 books written over different periods of time  
  
don't think that your idea is a little absurd?  
  
How people like you can walk the streets, if you ask me, I think it is a crime  
  
Now get out of my face  
  
You stupid slut  
  
Before I bash your head in with a mace  
  
And I slam the door shut  
  
Now let me sleep  
  
If your right, then you go to heaven, that's what you got  
  
But don't bother me with your crap, you ugly creep  
  
NOW GET OFF MY PORCH BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!!!!  
Author's notes: This is aimed at a few Jehovah witnesses, who won't leave my family alone. This is my opinion. I know not all Christians are like this. I am probably going to get flamed for this. But I don't care. If total strangers are allowed to insult my beliefs, then I can do the same to total strangers. Have a nice day!!!!!! 


	2. saturdays

Those darn Jehovah's witnesses.  
  
This isn't really my story, but I thought it was funny, and it perfectly describes my feelings. I will probably be flamed for this, but I don't really care. Please read and review. Bye!!!!  
My first Saturday relaxing in my new home when I heard the door bell ring. I got up to see if it was a new neighbor needing a cup of sugar or welcoming me on the block. "Hello" I said with a grin "Can I help you?" They replied "No but I can help you." I looked up and down noticing the business suit and tie. The only people I know that on a Saturday morning knock on your door and dress like that is Jehovah's Witnesses. A short man who looked like he was over dressed for a job interview at K- mart asked in a quite voice "What party do you vote for? What did this question have to do with religion? I thought... I knew this was a loaded question but I answered quickly. "I vote independent." The man replied "Good! " Very good..." What if I told you you could vote for someone that could change you and your families life for the better right now... would you vote for him?" Knowing the trap which was laid in front of me I answered "SURE!" He then pulled a pamphlet from his jacket pocket and said "By voting to put God in your heart you can change your life and your families life for ever!" My grin became larger as I tried to hold back my laughter. I couldn't help but note this was a beautiful way to introduce the idea. My next response was meant to ensnare my victim in the same way but also to make him feel in command. "How do you know there is a God?" This question is common, almost as common as the answer he gave. "You see this house? It didn't evolve from dust right? It was made by it's designer from the ground up. You are more complex than a house aren't you?" You don't think this house could be put together by chance do you? So why would you believe you were?" Yep, That was response # 1. The complexity argument. It's one of the easiest ways to trap an armchair evolutionist and convert them to armchair scientist. Just learning you came from an ape doesn't explain the complex human anatomy. It seems as though everything is perfectly placed. The armchair evolutionist usually has little answer to this question but a little open mind can go a long way. "Isn't a God more complex than a human? Where did IT come from?" I said. I was ready for reply #2 and he didn't disappoint. "God didn't have to be made, it was here all along. It is eternal and infinite." To which I said "So why can't I say the laws of Natural Selection/Evolution have always been here? At least there is evidence of evolution, there is none for a God." The response was that glassy eyed "Yeah right!" as he told me of the ridiculousness of coming from ape. "You believe you came from an APE! HEHEHE" I replied as I pointed to the women helper with him "And you believe you came from a spare rib? HAHAHA! ("Ge:2:22: And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.) Think about it... That wouldn't even fly as a Star Trek movie." There is mountains of evidence to support humans came from primates but NONE that suggest a women is a rib. The FACT that 98.7% of human and primate DNA is the same. The fact that our DNA is more similar to chimps than chimps to gorillas is a widely known FACT. The women quickly walked off my porch and looked at me as if she was looking at the devil himself. She actually wouldn't go back on the porch after that. 


End file.
